Labor of Love v. Soul Sucking Lifestyle
Where you at, weekend?
Oh, it’s Monday? Awkward.
Lately, I’ve had a few conversations that really left me wondering if y’all feel the same way that I do.
This is your warning that there are no photos and probably too many words to follow in this post.
//
I desperately believe in going after the exact career that tickles your brain in only the way playing to your unique strengths can. I also desperately hold dear the truth that there are no free bus rides.
Connections? Yes.
Nepotism. Certainly.
Racial/Gender/Sexual Orientation/Ableist prejudices. Heartbreakingly so.
These are things that are, unfortunately, really hard to effect. There’s also this other weird assumption that combats the overcoming of obstacles and says there is a job out there that just brings you riches for breathing. Breathing, being cute, and adding #ad to all your posts.
I really believe that can be such a setup. A trap of promoting opinions that don’t belong to you.
//
Yesterday, at a wedding consultation brunch, I went on this lengthy denunciation of the belief that dictates it is WRONG to view the thing you love doing as WORK.
“Deanna, I thought, ‘if you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life’, right?”
And this is what got me thinking about how A-OK it is to view your dreamjob as WORK.
I’d say, get out a pen and get in touch with your do’s and won’ts for success. Because, damn, if you’re not willing to *get finger-painted by poo for it, is it even worthwhile?
I’ve bleached my way back from that latter experience. Twice.
//
We all have these beautiful and diverse paths which we choose to complement our strengths. I’d caution against beating yourself up if you’re desperately pursuing YOUR path or passion and you still don’t feel like you're knee-deep in a unicorn petting zoo.
This whole existence is a just a giant exercise in learning how to best express yourself in this world, mate.
What you love can and will at times (many times, actually, when you first begin and know nothing) feel like a labor, but it should never feel soul-sucking.
And because I’ve had both, it’s an important point of differentiation I remind myself of daily.
//
For me, yesterday was consultation meeting after meeting, a branding photoshoot, emails, calls, and an editing marathon right up until what I hoped would be the last 45 mins of my consciousness. I was planning to let the soothing sound of Leslie Knope’s voice lull me into a deep sleep, but finally an email was replied to and a project call ensued... which I took in bed around midnight.
I was tired and I was NOT feeling particularly creative or even talkative. But I took the call.
And that’s okay. It’s okay to lose sleep and skip meals and make sacrifices from time to time if you’re working towards that bigger, badder goal you’ve fallen in love with. You can't feel bad for that ish.
We sacrifice for our children and significant others; we do that for our educations and best friends too— I believe it’s okay to give yourself the permission to say, “this is me doing my best to wrangle this beast. I love it and I feel like I just got knocked out by it.”
//
This business has taught me enduring commitment. I'm all up in here addressing my shortcomings and swallowing my pride so many different ways from Wednesday. Choosing this life has allowed me freedom to accept myself and even to reinvent myself (like any good love should!).
But it has never just existed because I wanted it to. It’s been the life worth rising to the occasion for.
//
I realized, not too long ago that if you don't like what you got JUST GO for the good stuff. The time is going to pass either way.
And maybe at this point you're thinking, “but at least you don't have to answer to the man and you can play with twine and flower arrangements and work from home in your pj’s.”
Even the shiny models drinking smoothies are making sacrifices but just because they don’t look like your sacrifices, it makes them no less real.
I made a behind-the-scenes list of all the weird stuff that is less than glam about what I do.
Just because it’s weird and doesn’t make it less worth it to me.
//
💩👶🏻 I adore babies. *AND I’ve been pooped on by children who do not belong to me. More than once. And I’ve thrown away some favorite sweaters. Also, more than once. Is that eligible for a tax write off? I still don’t know…
⚔️ Oh! And speaking of: I like not living in prison! Taxes are hard! Learning how to run a legit business is work!
👻 Personally replying to approximately 5 million emails+texts+messages+passing out after a 14 hour wedding photo day in summertime while all of my friends bbq and travel and climb some mountains does, in fact, take some mental fortitude.
🙀 See above, but tack-on disappointing your loved ones.
👻👻 See above above and you also have no tan.
💔 I LOVE love. Clients sometimes divorce and request refunds for services or products because of a separation. To delicately navigate such a conversation like that for the first time demands heart and brainpower.
🔕 Networking with other likeminded individuals and prospective clients is endlessly rewarding. Authentically representing oneself with more resources than ever but also more noise than ever is grueling, daily work.
💁🏻 I like my outward appearance. But prospective clients scrutinize my thighs and my eyebrows in person, on social media, and on my website when deciding if I am trustworthy/talented/creative enough to do business with.
🙈 Traveling for work is fun. Yet living out of a funky smelling suitcase is gross and off-putting.
👩🏻💻 Thinking is nice. The demand of this age to share your professional habits, thoughts, likes, camera settings, and underwear preferences with the world can be freaky.
👹 Not having a boss is cool. So being the strictest boss you’ve ever had is jarring.
💸 And lastly, money and good sleep are pretty rad. Congratulations, you now control how much 1:1 time with those homies you get. Ready to work?
//
Cheers to working for it though, yeah?
Because that continues to make the sweet stuff, well, so much sweeter.
xx,
Deanna